"To Do" Party

A friend of mine invited me to a most creative party the weekend before Halloween. It was a "Have Some Fun and Get Stuff Done Party". One need only bring a project or chore that they'd been delaying on and she provided the food and cocktails along with whatever we may require to assist us in our completing of our projects. She even supplied helpful ideas of projects or tasks that we might consider.

To me it was a no brainer. I had to be there! Someone actually asking me to complete a task whilst being social. Obviously, I needed to be selective about my project. It had to be something that wouldn't require me to focus my full attention, I mean the whole idea was to also be amongst friends and to make new ones. Leaving my short story group readings behind (I only had two more days before our next meeting, but this was not the time to start evaluating others writing). I grabbed up my materials and headed to the party. Then arrived to an Autumnal Sangria which was just being served. Snacks of prosciutto, fig, cheese and bread with wafting aromas of a divine "not your child's" Mac & Cheese.

We ate up a few snacks then headed into the dining/design area. Each of us were carefully selective in choosing our projects. There were Thank You's for a wedding last Spring; files of photos to go through and keep, hold or discard; a hat needed a refitting; files being deleted from a hard drive; children's pants needing to be cinched in more properly. I placed my material on the table and just as she stated in her invite sewing supplies were on hand. We each talked about our project (great ice-breaker!) and immediately started on socializing and working.

We took a break to delve into the delicious meal of pasta and salad, fill up our drinks and just chat while we let our work wait a moment. I knew less than half the attendees, but by night's end I felt like I knew each of them very well. It was a fantastic party and I came away with my project off to a great start. I completed one pair of clown pants and it was enough momentum to get me to complete the rest of the outfits before mid-week. Well ahead of my usual Halloween planning schedule (uh, last minute anyone...?).

Thanks Alison for your creative endeavors. I'm certain I'm not alone in that thinking.

I'll leave you all with a photo of my creations:

BPA free me!

We know that we are living in a time when toxins abound and it seems on a regular basis we are confronted with new ones that have been surrounding us since long ago. Myself, for example grew up on a plot of land that was formerly asbestos riddled as well as being a pig farm (which eventually became a pig graveyard). My parents built a marina there. From the time I was three I can remember climbing upon giant hills of sand, dirt, mud, clay and whatever else was dredged from the nether regions below the waters surface in order to create slips that would fit sailboats that needed sufficient water depth in order to fit into their slip. I count myself lucky to have been able to live in such a creative mass of dirt to play in as I wished. I can recall collecting dozens of bottles from times long ago and cleaning them up to give to my mom. She has a beautiful collection of blue,brown and clear glass bottles/jars that line the marina’s office window. I became quite adept at creating some of the best mud pies! Did I come into contact with toxins? Highly likely, but nobody thought about stuff like that and I’m glad that I had the freedom to play in that gunk. What didn’t hurt me made me stronger, right? Okay, it’s yet to be known, but why dwell on what possible contaminants I came into contact with back then. Move ahead several decades (not gonna say how many).

My husband remarked the other day about how we should eliminate plastics from our home in order to ensure BPA (the newly discovered evil) won’t be a part of whatever else may be affecting us. To be sure we have plenty of others, but if we can do without - why not! Sure the wireless router is likely causing plenty of damage alone, but that one we really have become dependent on and presently can’t sever ourselves from it’s hold on us. Baby steps, right? The Guardian News reported on cancer being a modern day disease and stated that it’s likely due to something that WE created. I can believe this, thus all the more reason to become more aware of our surroundings and how we may be ingesting things that could truly be affecting or infecting ourselves. I’ve always been somewhat cautious of new gimmicky food trends and diets that eliminate whole food groups. I also, am slow to change at times. But when my husband brought this up I looked around me at the numerous plastic food related items and thought “yeah, right!” Half our kitchen is made up plastics”; for cooking, storing, drinking, eating from - you name it, we probably have it. Granted we don’t just have plastics, but with kids the likelihood of using plastics went up by double at least. “They can’t use glass or porcelain! It’ll break and then they’ll get hurt!” Okay, first up, they can use melamine or bamboo. Second up, my kids are certainly at an age where if they can’t use it now should be learning to care for their cups and plates and feel special enough to use what the grown ups use. It’s not like I use my wedding china every day at home. Simple Ikea (code word cheap) ceramic plates that if broken can be replaced.

So, we went to Costco yesterday and while going through the aisles I kept this new thought in my head and was overwhelmed by all the plastic that surrounds us. Both my husband and I agreed; plastics are such a big part of our lives that extricating ourselves from their use entirely may be impossible. Take freezer storage for example. I shop at a butcher for meats, so I don’t get as much plastic as grocery stores may package their meats, but once I get that home I have some meats that I’ve bought for a later time - I don’t want to have shop at the butcher on a daily basis. You could say, become vegan! Well, we’re not ready for that step yet, like I said I take change slowly sometimes. So, I do have to freeze some of my meats and I use plastic freezer Ziploc bags. I know the main issue is the BPA leakage during heat exposure, but why couldn’t this happen in other temps, too? What is BPA anyway/ Clearly I have much learning still to do and some reviewing of our cooking and kitchen prep needs. I have already pulled out a bunch of things that we can live without right now, but there’s a lot more that can still go.

Anyway, I’ve got some work cut out to do yet and I’ll be sure to keep you updated. It’ll inspire me to blog more, since I’ve been remiss on that for so long already.

Stay tuned...

My Latte Experience

I was never much of a coffee drinker. My first taste of it as a youth was squinched faced after the bitterness of my parents' adored beverage.

I fell for tea. The cleanliness of it: water & leaves. So simple. Add some milk and it becomes something smooth. Occasionally I'd have a coffee just to see how it would appeal to me at that moment.

When I lived in London, my neighbor and I shared the art of tea as we'd have our 3 o'clock get togethers - letting our recently napped toddlers play while we'd chitchat over a perfectly brewed tea with some milk and yummy biscuits (the triple chocolate ones from Waitrose were our favorites).

While we were living in London, every day my husband would stop off to buy a latte to have on his walk/tube ride into work. He realized how much money he was spending on that daily necessity and decided to buy an espresso maker. He started out brewing his one shot lattes and heading out. I'd savour the aroma that he'd impart within the house; that lovely roast of the cafe bean.

One day I decided to try it and loved the smooth froth of the milk that blended so well with the coffee. Since he was making one he could easily make two, because he had a double espresso attachment. Ah, perfect! I was forever held in this milk/cafe tango. We actually brought the espresso maker back with us from London thinking a simple adaptor is all we'd need to convert it for US usage. Not so. That simple adaptor was as large as the machine itself. We passed it on to someone else that thought they could put it to use. Then we relied on the old Italian stove top espresso maker for a bit. Not the same without the lovely steaming of the milk. Then one Christmas my parents thought of the best present for us: an espresso machine. Now whenever my husband brews his latte I get one, too.

I chose not to learn how to make it, feeling this is one thing he loves to do and appreciating the effort in his making them. When he's out of town I go back to my tea ways. Taking a break from the cafe bean for a bit. But when I get my latte.... Oh, how I enjoy every sip.

The above picture was the treat that was left for me upon my return from taking my eldest son to school one day. My husband had to head off to work early, but he left me with a fabulous surprise.

Missing library book

Now that I have two voracious readers (one that loves being read to, another that will read his chapter books practically without putting them down) we come away with quite a handful of books. Thirty-five in all this last time! When I get the emailed library return reminder, I gather all the books to determine that we have them all. Those email reminders are wonderful in that way, since we rarely hold onto the check-out receipts. All but one accounted for. I explain to my eldest the importance of looking for his chapter book. It was the favorite this time (Wimpy Kid series book).

The task this weekend: search high and low for the missing book.

Guess either way a lesson will be learned here.

I'm glad libraries are still around and we'll certainly do our part to keep them.

Taskmaster? Oh my!

What to do with a child that refuses to complete tasks?

I've started to feel like I've reached a brick wall. My seven year old son started out life as this fabulous easy-going kid that would try anything, help anytime, and would sit and listen as well as give his wonderful ideas. Granted once he started Kindergarten and homework became a requirement getting him to sit and complete it felt like I was going to have to drive nails into his clothes to keep him in front of it. I'd sit with him initially to assist as needed (which was rare if ever), then I'd head off to do things that I needed to get done. I'd turn around and he'd be next to me asking "Can I help with that?", so I'd ask "Did you finish your work?", "No." This would happen every time so it got that I would just sit next to him and read the paper or make lists, but then he'd be diverted again and ask what I was reading or suggest things I should add to my list.

Now he's in second grade and recently has been off chatting with friends who have completed their school work and when the teacher asks for the completed work he'd race back to his desk to try and do what he can before handing it in. That explains the work that's returned on a weekly basis incomplete and my husband and I having to talk to him about it each time. He is easily distracted, as most children his age are (albeit in front of the t.v. when you can't get him to even hear his own name being called), and likes to create his own distractions.

Last Thursday after discovering that this issue is not going away we're intervening. So, now he's having to do a Positive Behavior chart which the teacher recommended and that we're also doing at home to assist on homework completion.

Usual after school on campus play has been put on halt along with possible play dates. We came home immediately and after eating I stated that there would be no fun activities until work is completed each day. Reading in English and Spanish (he attends a dual immersion school and we speak Spanish at home), writing and math. His response was throw a fit and waste an hour by doing nothing and when asked to do work scream "NO!" Yikes, let's get this kid turned around quickly please.

Once seated he completed everything in half an hour. That's what really amazes me about all this. He knows what he's doing and can process what's needed quickly, but if someone requires it of him it's like taking something from him.

We're a week into this and it's still a daily struggle. I'll post to update as we go and hopefully I gain some good tips.

Birthday and snowy adventure

Started last week with no voice. It was great teaching the kids to whisper, so that I could speak. Worked only when I didn't really need it to work and when I needed to put on the serious Cara voice I'd clap my hands and give them the MOM look. If I could have I would have stomped my feet like a child with a fit if I thought I could get away with it.

Anyway, to the point. Birthday weekend was a success. First Juan took me to dinner the night before my BDay to Chez Panisse. I think this restaurant has been hyped up so much that it actually fell below our expectations. The food was good, but it didn't go beyond that. Considering the price and the wait to get reservations fulfilled we came away feeling like we could have created something better at home. I know that Alice Waters is the name behind comfort food, and that was what we experienced, it's just that we did expect something more. The only course that we came away truly enjoying was the squid and lemon dressed salad. Everything else for a prix fixe menu was so heavy (got the comfort aspect and then some). We really wanted to like it, but the heaviness bogged us down. We did come away with a new addition to Juan's apple pie (far better than the one we had there). They had creme fraiche whipped with a touch of sugar just to the side of the pie. We'll have to recreate this. To speak more positively the service was excellent and we loved the architecture. Juan is certain it's taken from a Frank Llyod Wright style all the way down to the lighting fixtures.

Friday morning (no hangovers for this gal-given my throat earlier in the week I stuck with one drink - a fantastic Pear Sparkling Wine) was spent getting ready to head to the mountains. With Milan in school Tate and I picked up the rental skis (the snowboard/boots are part of Milan's lesson at the resort). The last time (and our kids first time) we headed to the snow was two years ago. This year we came away with big and wonderful memories for all.

First this was Tate's first real experience with the snow (he has no memory before - I mean he wasn't even walking last time we went). He was on his skis and looking like quite the skier. We used the little hill with the conveyer belt at first. Juan was great teaching him and I went up once with Tate; at the top I see Tate slide off with his little skis and I automatically think I can do the same (forgetting I have boots on and getting my toes clipped at the end - yeah, I'm the one that made the conveyer belt stop okay). I later removed my boot to ascertain that my toes were still there.

Both days I was on nap duty. The first day Tate and I never even made it to the resort. We stayed at the sled run until 11:30 then I had to practically carry him the 1/2 mile back to the lodge. I was ready for a nap, too that day. The second day we were at the resort, so I packed Tate in the car to drive to the lodge, but he fell asleep before we made it out of the parking area. I ended up going to the lodge anyway, parking in front and racing in to grab my Kindle from the room. Then we drove back to the resort (glad we paid the $20 to park in the front lot for the day, because I just went right back there and sat in the parked car reading).

It was sunshine skiing, because with the sun out it was too warm really to even wear our winter jackets. Milan had a day of skiing and then a day of snowboarding. He came away declaring "I'm only going to snowboard from now on". I didn't really get to see him in his classs. At first they just hang out on the little hill talking and doing little stature practice then they go to the hill with the conveyer belt. After Tate's nap we caught up with Juan and he took Tate on the lift.

I went to get Milan from his snowboard class and we waited at the bottom of the slope to see Juan and Tate coming down. The second time Tate went up was because big brother was there to join them. All my boys head out on the hill while I wait down below camera ready. Milan comes down first. I'm so amazed at his skills that I completely forget to catch it on camera and just observe him in awe. He comes sidling up in front of me perfectly. No pics of him on the move, but I've got him in my head forever.

The Return of the Self

When my first son was born, I chose not to return to work. Holding him in my arms and realizing he was out in the world and that the protection of my body, the safety within the womb was no longer there, I felt this great need to keep him out of harm by being his protector. I let him learn some things on his own, walking leads to a few falls, while ensuring hands are held when walking near the street. Never having been around children before I really wasn't sure that the maternal instinct would kick in that strong, but it did. It took years before anyone other than my husband's and my family could watch him. Basically, I wanted him to be able to tell me if the outside sitter was caring for him properly. Perhaps I shouldn't have watched "The Hand that Rocked the Cradle" while being in the last stage of pregnancy.

Anyway, two children later. My eldest is seven, the youngest coming up on three years. Now we try to have a sitter once a month if not more. We've even been away overnight for several nights; mother-in-law was in town, and I wouldn't expect a non family member to stay at our home and care for my children for days unless there was an emergency.

I feel most proud of who my eldest has and is becoming. He's at an age where you can really see what he's like and who he may be. My younger son; yes, two full energy boys (I'm a master chaser now and my husband has warned me that an ER visit could be a possibility not that I'd be prepared for that mentally and therefore won't think on that) comes into this family with all the more love surrounding him. Before he was born, we talked about him often with our 1st son and how wonderful it'll be to have a brother (we learned the 2nd's sex, not the 1st's - easier for transitioning him to embracing his brother). The day he was born, we had a gift that baby brother gave to big brother - big brother still talks about that.

The same feelings of protection came over me for the second child, but also more of a sense of ease and allowance for more. Their personalities merge and shift away and I see they share traits, but that they are their own persons.

Me, I'm only just getting back after being on hiatus for the last seven years. I've put much love and effort into raising my boys and will continue to do so, but I'm also thinking that I need to do what popular self helpers often state, shamelessly I have never actually read a self help book, and that is to "care for oneself".

I'm going to start that now. By the way, the bra shopping is under way! Woo-hoo!

The kids have been in bed for over two hours now and I was just going to wash up and get myself into bed. I walk into the bathroom and I catch a look in the mirror. I look like a mom tonight. So glad Juan is not here to see me in this most unattractive state. Not that moms look unattractive, but we moms know the MOM look after being out and about with the kids all day, having very little ME time. I mean, we can't count a bathroom break, because they're not private moments with little ones popping in regularly to see where we went off to and what we're doing. The look I had was hair falling out of a not tight bun, last of the days make-up, dribbles of ice cream (oh yes I did) on the front of my shirt and a nursing bra - which my seven year old asked me today when he saw the latch peeking out of the edge of my shirt "What's this?" I bowed my head in totally defeat. Yes, I've become that. And no I'm not still breast-feeding my almost three year old, not that I have a problem with others doing that. He was just ready when he was ready and he being my second I was ready, too.

So, while the kids were entertained this evening watching Fetch before bed I made a list of things to do and on that list were:

1. buy new lingerie (this word by the way, makes me feel like I've written it wrong and I keep looking it up, but no that is the correct spelling...),

2. get hair appointment,

3. do nails

And I should add look at yourself in the mirror regularly.

I was hoping to get to bed early and defy the ugly morning blah look, but that doesn't look to be happening either.

So Friday is here soon enough and with a three day weekend and hopefully a husband (sales conference ends tomorrow), perhaps I'll have a chance to escape for a bit and find myself *wink-wink*. In that time it'd be nice to have a date night with said husband.

4. book sitter!